A Way to Success

If you want a dream to come true, to solve a problem or to learn something new, it´s a good, familiar idea to start with the easiest part and becoming better by moving step-by-step in the right direction.

Achieving a small success builds up fresh energi to work towards new and even bigger goals. It seems to be like climbing a steep hill – one step at a time. It´s not always easy; sometimes you need to take one step back and two steps forward. If you keep practicing and your goal is realistic, you will get there.

The following nine methods will improve your chances of success dramatically.

1. Establish a personal and realistic goal which will benefit you and others. Other people’s ideas are less likely to work out quite as well as your own (but bear in mind that small children are not able to consciously frame their own goals).

2. Find out what you need to learn to achieve your goal and devide your approach into small parts so you can be quite sure of succeeding during the process – particulary if you are working with problem solving.

3. Talk to people with whom you feel safe:

Who can support you and make it easier for you to reach your goal?
What kind of support would you like to recieve?
How often do you need support in order to reach your goal?

4. Be practical. Whether they´re small or big, repeating your actions daily increase the chances of success tremendously. A rule of thumb, it often takes 8-12 weeks daily training to ingrain your new approach.

5. Work out the best way to calm your brain’s alarm centre if you are about to loose control and direction. You can use your body to calm your brain´s alarm centre (read more here), thus making it easier to deal with your challenges. You can also choose to turn down the intensity of the challenges you´ve set yourself.

6. Be aware of situations that impede your efforts towards reaching your goal and be prepared to encounter obstacles.

7. Keep a diary:

Write, draw or tell a friend what it will mean to you when you reach your goal.
Write, draw or tell a friend about ideas, that come up during the process.
Write, draw or tell a friend about three positive things, big or small, that has happened – each day.

Put yourself to the test, preferably every day: On a of 0- 10: To what extent am I on the right path towards my goal?

8. Make sure to reward yourself properly during the process. The greatest reward is to see the accomplishment of an action on the way towards reaching a goal. Both credit from others and what you give yourself is valuable. Even when you do not reach your goal, you need to give yourself credit for practising. Credit creates an open and learning brain condition that increases the determination to keep practising, so that you eventually will reach the goal even if the path may be hard along the way. However, be aware that both unrealistic and undeserved credit can be harmful. In fact there is a risk that it might lead to depression, so be honest with yourself.

9. Exercise – it creates mood-enhancing chemicals in the brain and makes it easier to learn something new (read more here).

If you don´t succeed

If a project fails, you need to go back and examine those nine methods to make any necessary adjustments. Lack of succes is often caused by challenges being too small or too big, or by lack of practise. Or because you find yourself overwhelmed by the feeling that it’s too hard, thus becoming retraumatised and paralysed by negative thougts when you feel like going in circles. A helpful question to ask yourself when you struggle is: “What do I need to learn right now?” This might help you redirect your focus towards action instead of negative thoughts.

Finally, it´s essential to counteract bullying, exclusion and violence – any of which may create obstacles (read more here).